Sital Ruparelia

Whilst working with clients though their career transition, I often find that the reason they struggle to make progress is to do with an outside party – namely a partner or parents.

The people closest to you – whether a husband, wife, significant other or your parents – play a huge part in helping you, or sometimes, a huge part in being a very big obstacle.

a)      For some of you, your partner or parents can be a big drain on your career by being critical, cynical, negative or constantly worried.

b)      For others, your partner or parents can be a huge source of support – positive, encouraging, supportive, patient, helpful in finding contacts and resources and generally acting as an objective and honest sounding board for you.

Here are 5 ways to ensuring the people closest to you fall into the second category:

1.      Engage them

It’s really easy to want to shut everyone out when you’re going through change – but that’s rarely a productive strategy. It’s really easy to hide behind the ‘we haven’t time to talk’ excuse.

2.      Listen to them

Listen to their concerns – rational or otherwise. The people closest to you have ideas, opinions, suggestions which may not seem valid – but their contributing because they care. So don’t shut them out; keep an open mind and listen. When you do, their more likely to become part of the ‘b category above.

3.      Educate them

I frequently suggest my clients going through a job or career change, print off the following three articles from my blog and ask their partners/parents to read them so that they know what they’re going through:

Reinvention: Top 10 Tips For Career Changers

15 Ways To Cope With The Uncertainty Of A Career Transition

10 Ways YOU Stop Yourself Getting The Right Job

If you’re going through a major career transition or struggling to find a new job, then your partner/parents need to understand what that process looks like and feels like in order to be a positive resource for you. Yet most people don’t know what that is like and so won’t be in a position to help or be understanding. So whether you ask them to read some articles, watch a You Tube clip or listen to a audio podcast – do something to educate them on the process you’re going through and they’re more likely to be a positive influence.

4.      Involve Them

Making major career decisions will have an impact on the people closest to you. So the quicker you communicate with them to understand their needs, expectations and concerns, the faster you can make decisions and agree compromises.

For many of you, your career decisions you make will impact on the lifestyle of the people around you – so it’s only right to involve them.

5.      Tell them what you want from them

Whether you need some space, encouragement, more faith or simply need more accountability and a ‘kick in the pants’ to get you going – the people closest to you need to know what you want in order to be able to help you. So tell them.

I know this article reads more like something written by a relationship coach or a ‘how to manage your parents coach’ (if there is such a thing) rather than something by a career expert. But I see so many people struggle with their careers because they’ve failed to gain the support of the people closest to them.

They spend their life trying to figure out how to sell themselves to strangers, how to impress their bosses and clients so as to create raving fans. When in fact what they should be doing is first working on strengthening the fan base they already have – the one at home.