Sital Ruparelia

I’m constantly surprised at how so many people try to deal job loss and redundancy on their own.

One of the first questions I ask clients who have recently lost their jobs is “Have you announced your redundancy to every single person in your personal and professional network..?”

On average, only about 30% of people say ‘yes’ – the other 70% have often not told many people at all – even several week’s after being laid off.

When I ask why – they usually say “oh, I err, just haven’t….” – but I usually know what’s going on. When I ask further questions and probe further, there are some common reasons for not telling others about their situation.

Here are 4 of the most common reasons why people are shy about sharing – along with my usual response is:

1. “I feel embarassed..”

As an ex recruiter – both within recruitment consultancy and in-house corporate recruitment teams, I can assure you that there is no longer a stigma with getting laid off these days.

It’s old fashioned to think only poor performers lose their jobs. Most of the people who are losing their jobs at the moment are being laid off for reasons outside their control.  You probably lost your job due to wider economic and financial problems – not because you’re rubbish. So quit feeling embarassed.

And if you do come across people (contacts, potential employers, recruiters) who do look down at you because you’ve been laid off – that’s their issue, not yours.  It’s their loss, so just move on with your head held high.

2. “I don’t know what to say…”

You don’t have to say much at all. Just tell them what’s happened so that they know what’s happening to you.

Just think, if one of you’re friends got engaged or had a baby and didn’t tell you about it, how would you feel? In the same vain, don’t let your friends and professional contacts find out through the grapevine. Send a short email (DO NOT attach a CV/resume) – stick to the facts and tell them what’s happened, give them your personal email address and mobile number so that they have your new details. And that’s it (for now).

3. “I dont want people who I’ve not contacted in a while to think I’m only now getting in touch because I want something..” (i.e. a new job) 

I’m not suggesting you spam your friends your CV/resume with a “help me find a job” note.

I’m asking you to just inform the people you have a relationship with about a change in your life.  Don’t you inform people when you move house? In the same way, informing others of a change in your work situation is very normal behaviour.

I suggest you don’t send your resume initially and don’t ask for anything. If you have people reply back and ask you to send through your details,  that’s great – do it. But initially, don’t send out your details to anyone apart from your very warm contacts.

Informing others allows you to reconnect with others - yes, this may then lead onto an email exchange about potential job leads. But may not. But you don’t have relationships with others just because you want something. 

4. “I don’t really know what I want to do next” / “I’m going to take some time out, so there’s no point in contacting people”

Read my comments under point 3 again. You’re not informing people because you want something. You’re informing people because that’s how we cultivate relationships – by sharing (E.g, what am I doing right now? I’m sharing information and ideas - and in the process building a relationship with readers). 

Cultivating relationships is what you need to do when you’re out of work. Not only because it helps you find work faster (during a downturn, networking is the single best way to find job opportunities) but because being out of work gives you the time to reconnect with people you’ve lost contact with. With people who may well have some answers to the ”I dont know what to next” question.” They’re the people who you will lean on when you have a bad day (which, you can be sure you will have over the coming days and weeks). People who you may be able to catch up with and have a laugh with (you need plenty of that right now).

So if you’ve been laid off recently , please do yourself a favour and don’t keep it a secret. Send out some emails or a make a few calls to friends, family, colleagues, clients, vendors, brokers – all the people you have a relationship with. You”ll be surprised with the flurry of supportive emails that will come back to you.  Emails that will show you that you don’t have to deal with things on your own.

See related posts:

 3 Reasons To Network Yourself Into Your Next Job

Do They Know You Were Made Redundant..?

Job Searchers: What Have I Been Saying All Summer About Your Network?

5 Tips For Job Searching In A Crazy Market

Redundancy Tips: The First 48 Hours Are Critical

Redundancy: 10 Things Everyone Should Know