Sital Ruparelia

1. “Mark – my boss. I’ve forgotten what he looks like – I never see him. We exchange emails, do conference calls – but it’s all about business. I know we’re busy, but rarely do I get any quality time, feedback or discussion about me or my career. Even when I try raising the subject, it’s always ‘Everything is fine, I have another meeting to get to. We’ll speak soon.’ Cheers Mark.”

2. “Charlotte in HR. What does she do all day? OK, well I do get some help when it comes to hiring & firing my team. And I suppose she is a nice enough person. But do I get any support from her regarding my career? Do I actually trust her sufficiently to even have an open discussion about me? Not a chance.”

3. “My team. They have constant gripes and complaints about their jobs, careers, salary packages etc. Many of these things I have little control over. But I do my bit to give them direction, keep them engaged and motivated. But who is doing that for me? Where is my support? I rarely have the support or tools to do the job, but am expected to just get on with it. Great!”

4. “Charles, the head hunter with his overly posh ‘Lloyd Grossman style’ accent (surely no one speaks like that when they are at home, do they?). He talks about being an advisor and consultant to help me make the right decisions, but I’m never really sure how impartial these guys are. After all, his main focus is earning fees, right? And in the current job market, there is only one person Charles is looking out for – and that’s Charles.”

5. “Sheila – my wife. She’s constantly complaining about me working long hours, not seeing the kids enough and not spending quality time with her. But at the same time she’s happy to just spend, spend, spend like there’s no tomorrow. Doesn’t she realise that there won’t be much of a bonus pot come the end of 2008? She simply doesn’t get it…”

6. “Ben – my partner. He keeps telling me I should either stop complaining about work or just quit the job and find something else. Easier said than done, Ben! He wants us to get married / start a family / spend more time together (*delete as applicable) and have the dream life. So do I (…I think). But most of the time, I’m too tired to talk and just want to sleep…”

7. “My friends. We’re not as close as we used to be. I’m too busy working or recovering from work. They’re busy doing the things most people do away from work. I sometimes get the occasional sarcastic remark about ‘being too busy for your friends’ which I successfully laugh off whilst full well knowing that they are absolutely right. If only they knew the half of it.”

8. “My parents. They don’t say anything, but I see the look in their eyes. They may be proud of the external trappings of my success – nice job title, nice salary, property, car and fancy holidays. But I’m sure they wonder how successful I really am. I am always too busy, tired or away travelling. I rarely have time to see them and can see them judging me from a distance – which I hate.”

9. “My Blackberry. It never stops bleeping. From the minute I wake up, I am constantly available. There is no escape – evenings, weekends, holidays – I am always on call. Everyone seems to want a piece of me and I am sick of it.”

10. “Me – what happened to me? I am constantly tired, out of shape and no longer my usual self. My family don’t understand me any more and my friends rarely see me. I don’t really get much job satisfaction or enjoyment from work and feel it eating away at my confidence. There are so many other things I want to do, both in my career and also away from work, but I feel stuck on this crazy treadmill.

I can’t discuss these things with my boss or colleagues. My friends and family don’t really understand. I’m lost and don’t know what to do next.

The good news? You don’t have to tolerate these things any more.

Your Field Work

1) Make the decision not to tolerate them. Any change you make – however small or large – begins with a decision. So decide that it’s time for change.

2) Take a first step. Contact us here to start a discussion on how we can help you get your career back on track and enjoying life once again.